top of page
  • Photo du rédacteurSabine Mueller

Savior or Leader? A dilemma?

In transactional analysis (Eric Berne) a "savior" is attached to a nurturing parent state, where "I know what is best for you" and only I am able to help (save) you. While in my savior state, I can only see and address the other as "smaller" than me, in other terms as a victim. My actions are based on my conviction that I have to help, since I am stronger than the other and the other incapable of helping him/herself.

A recurrent and overlapping definition of leadership is to "motivate /influence a group of people to act toward achieving a common goal".

But how can I know if through my influence I am trying to "save" or to "lead" the other?

From a psychological perspective, I can only leave any psychological game if I consider myself and the other as an adult and thus as an equal. Meaning that no one is above or below the other. No one needs saving. And I am not the only person capable to help. More importantly, the wish and initiative for help should come from the other person. Otherwise, I am still in a parent-child dynamic with my friend/team/collegue/relative etc. And we keep each other prisoners in a relation where one is the problem and the other the solution.

As a leader, it may feel like I hold the (only) solution, and I am the best (and only) person to communicate it. More importantly, my intervention may sometimes feel essential to the success and evolution of the other/the team. But is it really?

When is our ego speaking and when our heart?

Actions based on ego (to show how great a leader we are) may cause as much damage as a leader not trusting the call of his heart to share his wisdom (in order to heal a situation).

Whoever you lead and which ever decisions you need to take, before you act ask yourself the following questions:

- Do I see the other just as great and wonderful as myself?

- Where does my impulse to help come from? My head or my heart?

- Am I motivated by fear or anger about the behaviour of others and its consequences? (most likely your acting from your ego)

- Am I motivated by true compassion for the situation and the wish to make things better? (you guessed it, that's coming from your heart ;-)

This world needs your light, your love and your contribution. There is no doubt. Let's all make sure we act from the right place.

53 vues0 commentaire

Posts récents

Voir tout


bottom of page