Many of us feel unsatisfied about certain aspects of our life. We would like to live in a better place, have a more fulfilling job, or a more suitable partner etc.
Many of my clients demonstrate great awareness of what changes they would like to see in their lives. However, when they start to take steps and make decisions that could bring them closer to the desired change, they may suddenly feel scared and start doubting their intentions. "Maybe my current apartment isn't that bad after all? Maybe my partner will change if I give him more time, maybe my job isn't that boring compared to others".. and so on. Very often I observe clients stepping back from something they initially really wanted and felt sure about.
How can this be possible?
If you were watching a movie, this is the moment you are waiting for the main character to step up for his/her dreams and do the right thing.
The problem is that we are mistaking our fears for our intuition. I might tell myself "since I have a bad feeling about this decision, it certainly is a bad idea."
But that is wrong. Fear is an essential emotion, that biologically served us to detect danger and take action to protect us (flee from a hungry lion for example). In western societies, most of the time, there is no physical danger anymore and our fears are purely psychological and related to the future. We anticipate danger in future events that may never happen. I might be afraid of losing my partner if I speak up, of losing my job if I ask for more money, or of not succeeding in my dream career if I give up my old job. In these cases, it is not our adult-self that is advising us. Our adult-self is strong and wise and knows what is good for him/her.
It is our inner child who is in control and who is seeking security. He or she may not have always been reassured by its parents and family beliefs about the endless availability of ABUNDANCE. In these moments, I recommend to get in touch very closely with your inner child - put your hands on your heart and your stomach and talk out loud to him/her from the place of your adult-self. Here's a suggestion of what you may tell him/her:
"Hello my inner child. I can see you are scared. It's OK to be afraid. Change can be scary. But I am here for you. I see you and I love you. And I (=my adult self) am strong and wise and I will take care of this situation. You can trust me. This decision is based on what we really want and whatever happens will be good for us."
Sense how a feeling of relief spreads within your body. You may even connect to a feeling joy about the change to come into your life.
When you have important decisions to make, remember to connect to your adult-self and all its wisdom. It will help you stay in the joy and excitement about future change as well as to reassure potential anxieties of your inner child.
Take care,
Sabine